Friday, November 5, 2010

Tonight confirmed everything.

Tonight I went to the school play with my mom. I saw my old friends across the auditorium, talking and laughing. It broke my heart for a second to realize that I'm no longer part of them. Granted, I never really was, but still. They were still there.

This year, I'm figuring out my life. Some may say Senior year may be too late to figure out your high school life. I say it's a jumping point for my college life. I've found friends that care about me for me and actually want me around. They may be a grade or two younger, but who cares?

Sometimes I expect my old friends to ask why I've stopped hanging out with them. But no, not a word. It almost confirms my constant fears that no one likes me or really cares. You know what? I don't need you guys. I can be perfectly happy without you.

I'm not completely used to these new friendships quite yet. We talk and laugh and I feel included. They make an effort to talk to me between classes.

What the hell have I been doing for the past three years? Why didn't I figure this out earlier?

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