Music and lyrics and the like.

Most people who know me, know that I love writing and music. I don't go a day without listening to music at some point and I have a hobby of writing poetry and stories and the like. Both are something I've always loved and have wanted to incorporate into my future somehow.

This morning I got a slightly overwhelming compliment. You see, I wrote a poem for a Spanish project and since I got done super fast, went to go sit with my friends. One of them asked to read my poem and I let him. He was quite impressed and I showed him another poem I had written for English. Here's where the slightly overwhelming compliment comes in. When he finished reading it he said "You wrote this? You should write lyrics for [insert-name-of-mutual-friends'-band-here]." I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. I do love to write and I sometimes try to write songs but writing for another band? It'd be cool, but who knows.

Now, I've always been intrigued by lyrics. I admire bands/artists who write their own music and lyrics, play their own instruments and are good at them, and who don't need to be super electronically altered to sound good. I like listening to unknown artists preform and I love reading original lyrics. Some of my favorite songs have some rather odd lyrics, I'd have to say. I've recently (aka today) been wondering if my favorite bands write their own music and the one I looked up was Motion City Soundtrack. They have some pretty awesome music and lyrics and I've liked them for a while and I'm pretty happy to say their lead singer, Justin Pierre, writes a large amount of their music.

Look up who writes your favorite songs.

Some of my favorites of MCS:

"In early '99 I beat the Ocarina of Time.
I'm quite the legend in this town." From "@!#?@!"

"What if there's nothing more to us?
We're just carbon-based.
We're just pixie dust." From "Skin and Bones"

"Let's get fucked up and die..
I'm speaking figuratively, of course..
Like the last time that I committed suicide.. social suicide.." From "L.G. Fuad" (Let's Get Fucked Up and Die)

"Betty can’t quit carving question marks in my wrist
How come we’re so alone" From "The Future Freaks Me Out"

"There’s a voice there’s a voice there’s a voice in my head
It’s rather soothing and it tells me I’d be better off dead
But if I beat it maybe punch it even kick it away then everything will be alrightly. I swim in pharmaceuticals" From "Delirium"

"I'll be back tomorrow
I'll be back at a quarter to 11
I'm half drunk, I can’t see straight
A hero zero with a capital Z (that's me)
Singing songs from the balcony as the city crumbles
Under the powers of an evil doctor rocket science monster
with capabilities to destroy the entire universe" From "Captial H"

PS. If someone wants to be a doll and buy me the MCS album "Even If It Kills Me" I'll love them forever cause it'll complete my collection :)

It's not fair.

Only one of you will understand this first part.

It's not fair. It's simply not fair. What if I never get to do it? What if I'm stuck doing music until I'm finally able to be a table leader in five fricken years? It's just not fair. Is this one of those things where you gotta start out doing it and then you're "one of them" and you do it until you can't anymore, then you switch to another team? Because that is so not fair. I want that connection with weekenders that only their YTLs have. Yeah, music is great and I love it, but I want the chance to have my own table. To be a part of their discussions and transformations instead of just watching it.

But I'm not going to ask for a change. That's just an easy way out. That's just a ticket to be looked at as a whiny bitch who can't handle when things don't go her way. I know I'm on this team for a reason and damn it, I'm not going to give up and ask for a change just cause I wanted something else. I'll just ask for it next time. There's a reason why I'm where I am and I'm not going to deny God's will. I'll get over it. I'll be fine.

But it's not fair.

But then, life is never fair. The people who don't deserve the great things get them while the ones who work and want and dream are stuck on the bottom. Granted, this isn't always true, but that's the mood I'm in right now so that's what I'm saying. When we don't get what we want, we just gotta suck it up and do the best we can with what we've got. Whether it be a grade, a job, a relationship that didn't go over as you planned. Part of life is figuring out how to make do with what you're given.

 

And damn it, that's what I'm going to do.

You said.

I was poeting earlier.

I love being encouraged for my poetry, especially when the encouragement is from my CIS English teacher. It started with a reaction to a debate we did, and he said I should write more, so I wrote a poem for each book we've read, totaling five. This one is probably my favorite, which is ironic because I was not much a fan of the book. Based on Black Boy by Richard Wright.

Walk Through Life

Walk through life

Always wondering

Why am I different?

Walk through life

Always waiting

For the next attack.

Walk through life

Always careful

Not to say the wrong thing.

Walk through life

Always wanting

To be treated equal.

Why am I different?

Why is it my skin

That makes me a target?

What is it about me

That makes them hate me?

They attack me.

Yell at me.

Throw things at me.

Threaten me.

Beat me.

Simple as one word,

That I forget or add,

Say the wrong thing

And bang you’re dead,

I’ve been lucky.

I want to write,

Let the words flow,

But writing is the white man’s world,

That world that I cannot touch,

That I can only dream of entering.

I may have to walk through life

Wondering

Waiting

Careful

And wanting,

But one day I’ll prove to them

That I am just as good,

Just as smart,

Just as human,

Even though I am

A black boy.

Another in a long list of lasts I have to trudge through these days.

Well, definitely not how I wanted the last SO competition of my high school career to end. And I won't even explain it cause it's stressful, depressing, and probably confusing to you. So just know that it was terrible.

There's something I want to write about but I'm not entirely sure how to go about it. Let's see what comes out.

Over the past year or two I've gotten pretty close with this girl. It was slightly awkward for a bit when she first started dating my ex but that's all good now so I'm happy. I'm honestly going to miss her loads when I leave for college. I'll miss our almost constant laughter, our inside jokes, our adventures, and our serious talks. I love her and honestly, I'm almost crying while writing this. It might be because of everything that's gone on today and/or my hormones being all out of whack cause of stupid Mother Nature, but still.

She's come to mean a lot to me and it makes me sad when I realize that my high school days are slowly ending. All the people I'm not sure if I'll see again, all the great traditions that will become just memories, and let's face it, starting a new chapter in your life is fricken scary. I'm leaving behind everything I know and I'm not sure if I'm completely ready for that yet.

Well that got more emotional and heartfelt than I was expecting..