It's not fair.

Only one of you will understand this first part.

It's not fair. It's simply not fair. What if I never get to do it? What if I'm stuck doing music until I'm finally able to be a table leader in five fricken years? It's just not fair. Is this one of those things where you gotta start out doing it and then you're "one of them" and you do it until you can't anymore, then you switch to another team? Because that is so not fair. I want that connection with weekenders that only their YTLs have. Yeah, music is great and I love it, but I want the chance to have my own table. To be a part of their discussions and transformations instead of just watching it.

But I'm not going to ask for a change. That's just an easy way out. That's just a ticket to be looked at as a whiny bitch who can't handle when things don't go her way. I know I'm on this team for a reason and damn it, I'm not going to give up and ask for a change just cause I wanted something else. I'll just ask for it next time. There's a reason why I'm where I am and I'm not going to deny God's will. I'll get over it. I'll be fine.

But it's not fair.

But then, life is never fair. The people who don't deserve the great things get them while the ones who work and want and dream are stuck on the bottom. Granted, this isn't always true, but that's the mood I'm in right now so that's what I'm saying. When we don't get what we want, we just gotta suck it up and do the best we can with what we've got. Whether it be a grade, a job, a relationship that didn't go over as you planned. Part of life is figuring out how to make do with what you're given.

 

And damn it, that's what I'm going to do.