Monday, May 30, 2011

If only.

If only I felt like it. If I felt beautiful without makeup, I wouldn't wear it nearly as much. Sure, I'd still play around with fun eyeshadows and such, but I wouldn't feel the need to put on eyeliner and coverup before I leave the house everyday. I wish I didn't need makeup to feel beautiful.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Virgo to the bone.

Absolutely. I think this sums a big part of me up quite nicely. Or rather easily, as it isn't particularly a good thing. Depending on who I'm with, I won't be myself. I have comments in my head that I won't say because I'm worried they'll dislike me for it. So I keep quiet until I'm with someone I know won't judge me or even better, when I'm by myself.

I keep things bottled up and then some days I just snap and feel like shit and then feel bad cause I vent everything to my boyfriend. I make it seem like a big deal when it really isn't. Although it is to me. Which frustrates me. That whole fact that things that really shouldn't bother me do bother me and I can't do much about it. Darn my Virgo brain.

Other Virgo qualities:


Sound familiar? Yeah, me too.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

I might get published?

Okay, that's probably a long shot, but it's possible. You see, I entered a poetry competition, which if I win, I will get $1000 and my poems published in a magazine. And I thought I'd share with you guys my entries. These may or may not already be somewhere on my blog, but I'm gonna put them all here for ya just in case.

The Velvet Man

A girl with auburn hair so wild,
She truly is her mother’s child.
The Holy Book is her obsession,
Her mother’s pearl her prized possession.

Innocent and lovely she descends he stair,
Of the Velvet Man she is unaware.
In the darkness he does stand,
Gleaming blade in his right hand.

Her violet eyes glisten with fear,
As the Velvet Man grows ever near.
With one fell swoop, he makes it fast,
The breath she breathes shall be her last.

The crimson drops fall to the floor,
As the Velvet Man moves out the door.
Why she died none shall know,
All but one, her murderous foe.

Upon the book she held so dear,
Now lay her last crystal tear.
Around the neck of the poor girl,
Stained with blood, lay her mother’s pearl.

When to rest at last she is laid,
Promises of love are surely made.
In the valley where light does play,
It is there she will forever stay.

As time drags slowly on,
She lays beneath the fiery dawn.
But down below the Velvet Man will wait,
Until the next one comes from fate.

(Some parts inspired by true events, most of this is made up. Also, not the original formatting. I had to change that so that it was within the line limit)

Stolen Romances
When I was 13 my mother told me not to doubt.
A boy would come to show what life’s about.
The boys, they stole my heart.
The boys, they ripped me apart over and over again.
But I stayed strong and life carried on.

When I was 15 my father told me not to fear.
A boy would come to hold me safe and dear.
The boys, they’ve come and gone.
The boys, they’ve all moved on over and over again.
But I stayed strong and life carried on.

When I was 18 my boyfriend told me not to cry.
He’d be there to always dry my eyes.
This boy, he’s always there.
This boy, I know he cares.
I’ll never need them again cause I have you.
And life carries on.

Oh I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried and I’ve tried
To figure out what I’m feelin’ inside.
Cause when I look at you,
I see twirl around dances
And stolen romances.
I see us pickin’ guitars,
Gettin’ lost in our cars.
I see you holdin’ my hand,
Fallin’ from laughin’ so hard.
But most of all, I see what I’ve been missing.

When I look at you,
I see what I’ve been missing.

Poetic Urgency

Under the waves of smiles
Falling asleep to a lullaby of laughter
Caressed by a thousand dreams
Safe in magnetic arms

Moonbeam eyes search a soul while the
Twilight illusions fade away
A loving embrace pulls like the tides and
A glowing veil descends

Plaid summers and velvet winters
Seep to corners of memory
A celestial experience is cast
Upon diamond skylines

Under the waves of smiles
Falling asleep to a lullaby of laughter
Caressed by a thousand dreams
Safe in magnetic arms

Sunny chaos reinforces
The universe given new life
With the atmosphere of a thousand moons
Singing hypnotic hymns

Secrets are let out in a breath
Bathed in poetic urgency
A picture of perfect serenity
A sigh and a whisper

Under the waves of smiles
Falling asleep to a lullaby of laughter
Caressed by a thousand dreams
Safe in magnetic arms

Wish me luck.

Three weeks is not very long.

Long story short, I need to get a job. Okay, so it isn't really that long of a story, I just wanted to say that. Nevertheless, I need a job/spending money/college money.

And thinking of all of this getting-a-job-ness has gotten me thinking about other things. Like I'm graduating in three fuckin weeks. That's nothing. In three short weeks I'm going to put on my cap and gown and be officially detached from the last four years of my life. Not to mention the day before, when I will be getting hugs and "congratulations" and "what are you going to study where" and "you've grown up so fast" thrown at me repeatedly. Oh and money, which relates back to my little needing money schpeal.

But aaaaaanyway. This whole graduating thing is freaking me out a bit. I feel so gosh dang old. I'm graduating? These people that I've been seeing for 9 months of the year for the past 13 years of my life are graduating too? What is this, we don't graduate. That's for old people. None of us look like we're old enough to graduate, do we? What the hell are we going to do with our lives? Am I ever going to see these people again after three weeks from tomorrow? (Granted, it doesn't bother me that I won't ever see most of my grade again, but still.) It's freaky.

Yes, I'm excited to go to my dream college in four months (four months, really?) and meet new people and have the time of my life, but at the same time I'm not super thrilled to leave all of my friends behind. Getting this giant packet of information and forms today in the mail made me realize how much of an endeavor college really is. This is some serious shit.

Now I'm rambling and probably sounding like a pathetic, paranoid, idiot, so I'm gonna stop now. :)