If you make a comment on what I'm wearing, I'm not going to just shrug it off. If it's a compliment, I'll feel genuinely good. If it's a rude comment, whether kidding or serious, I'm going to take it seriously. In my mind, even if it was a joke, there was something that prompted that joke and it will get to me. Maybe just for a second, maybe not. I wish I could just shrug stuff off like that, but I can't.
Sometimes I'm quiet.
Sometimes I'm loud.
Sometimes I'm incessant.
Sometimes I'm annoying.
Sometimes I hit people.
Sometimes I come off as a bitch.
Sometimes I joke.
I do a lot of things, but when it comes down to it, I never intentionally hurt anyone. If I make comments that may seem hurtful, I definitely do not mean them that way. I joke. I'm not intentionally mean. I'm sorry if I come off that way. And again, if you tell me I'm a jerk, if you tell me I'm a bully, I may laugh it off, but inside, I'm not laughing. My brain stops for a second then works at full speed trying to figure out what they mean. Do they really think that? Are they joking too? Should I stop? My insecurities make it impossible for me to take anything as just a joke.
Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words will never hurt me.
Really? Really? That is the biggest load of shit I've ever heard. Words can be the most hurtful weapons of all. They get inside a person's head, break them down from the inside. They keep people up at night going over all of their actions and words, trying to figure out where they went wrong. They can make people go insane. Words will never hurt me. Yeah, right. You try being called a nerd, fat, ugly, a homo, good-for-nothing, worthless, stupid, ditzy, bully, or any of the other terrible names thrown at people and see how you like it. See if you can just shrug it off.